Here and Now

“Who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the great puzzle.” ~ Lewis Carroll.

Time….no longer a precious commodity for me. The free time that I never had when I was younger, is now plentiful.

And I’ve been putting it to good use — by doing all the things I always wanted to do- lunches with friends, gardening, and sleeping in.

And doing one other thing that I never thought I could — finding the time to meet myself.

These are long, tough, and daily meetings that would rival any held in a corporate boardroom.

Initially these meetings were painful, and reminiscent of those meetings at my work, where yelling, chiding, accusing, and berating was all par for the course.

This cause our mind has the uncanny ability to bring forth every hurtful word and painful interaction as if it had happened yesterday.

So during those early days of meeting myself, my mind was like a piece of driftwood — tossed around by thoughts and emotions that were cresting and crashing and cresting over and over again.

But I stayed on course. Just like the ocean waters recede during a low tide, so did my thoughts, and the intensity of the emotions that accompanied them.

A shift had begun to take place.

It’s been two years now, and although my meetings with myself have lessened in frequency and duration, I still hold them on a regular basis.